Destructive Order
by R. R. Ten'ou
Summary: In the year 2030 Emperor Gruumm of the Troobian Empire escapes SPD custody and gathers an elite team of the greatest villains from the past to help him in rebuilding his empire of evil. Humor abounds.
1. Chapter 1

Destructive Order of Overlords Killing Innocent Earthlings a.k.a. D.O.O.K.I.E.

Chapter One – The Trial of Gruumm

By Ten'ou and Hiro

Disclaimer: We do not own Power Rangers. Disney has that privilege and honor. Though if Ten'ou had her way, she'd definitely be owning some Sky… and some Cam… and some Carter… and many others not listed. Hiro would own him some Mega Thunderzord to be stomping through the city.

The year is 2030. Over the past few years the B-Squad Power Ranger team, led by Red Ranger, Sky Tate, has washed the galaxy clean of the last remnants of the Troobian Empire. Five years have passed since the fateful day Gruumm was captured and he was finally about to be tried for crimes against the galaxy at large. Among the charges brought against him were the destruction of over seventy planets, mass murders committed on at least eighty four planets, as well as larceny and many other minor offenses including jaywalking, disturbing the peace, indecent exposure, rolling a barrel down a hill in Pensacola, FL, and keeping an icecream sandwich in his back pocket in Atlanta, GA. The jurors were surprised to see that Gruumm had taken several trips down to Earth in his short mission there, wherein he made several visits to Chinatown and the Audubon Zoo. After pleading insanity through his first three trials, Space Patrol Delta has given the final delete A-OK. Gruumm's lawyer, T. J. Ueberschaer has arranged for one final hearing in Gruumm's defense.

The time is 13:09. The last witness in the case against Gruumm, Ms. Sydney Drew has been called to the stand.

"And how do you know he killed all those people Ms. Drew?" Gruumm's attorney asked the pink ranger. Gruumm himself sat behind the table, absentmindedly throwing the gummi bears he'd been allotted into the crowd behind him. As he flung them Bridge Carson caught the green ones and had quite a collection going.

"I was there. I saw it happen." Sydney answered, honestly and straightforward.

"And did you attempt to stop said murdering of innocent people?" the lawyer asked.

"Yes. The entire S.P.D. team was there to thwart Gruumm's plans." Sydney replied.

"And were you successful in your endeavors?"

"For the most part… yes. I'm sorry to admit that a few people were killed before we could arrive on the scene." Sydney continued.

"Your honor." Mr. Ueberschauer turned to the judge. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I wish to contend that it was not Gruumm's fault that so many innocent lives were taken."

"Then who was it?!" Sydney blurred out.

"The fault lies within the untimely manner in which S.P.D. carry out their missions. If they had only gotten there sooner, my client would not have been able to commit said felonies."

"What?" the S.P.D. officers in the room jumped up in their seats.

"I contend that the blame lies with, and only with, the B-Squad of S.P.D.!" Mr. Ueberschauer shouted into the mass echoes of the courtroom. Most who had come to testify against Gruumm, and those who merely came for the after-trial barbeque stood up in shock and anger. Shouts of "I can't believe this", "How can you say such a thing?", and "Where's my hotdog?" erupted throughout the courtroom.

"Silence! Silence!" the honorable Judge, Akaza Banban, screeched to the populace. "No more talking in my courtroom!" he slammed his gavel down onto the wooden podium. "The jury will now deliberate. Please step down from the stand Ms. Drew."

As Sydney Drew left the barrier of the stand and went to join her teammates, the jurors, in a single-file row, exited the courtroom. A quiet calm feeling washed over the courtroom, and even the galaxy as the trail was being televised for everyone to see. You could hear a pin drop anywhere in New Tech City.

In what seemed like an eternity later the jury came back into the courtroom, much like the way in which they left. As they took their seats in the juror's box, Gruumm discontinued his flinging of the gummi bears and carefully, as not to gather attention, took a small metal watch-like object from his lawyer's briefcase.

"We the jury." The first juror stood up and addressed the room. "Find the defendant, Emperor Gruumm, of the Troobian Empire…"

Gruumm smiled to himself.

"Not guilty."

Not a word was spoken. The audience within the room was too shocked to utter a word. Their mouths gaping open, the Power Rangers could do little more than watch.

"Yes!" Gruumm stood up and turned to the audience. "I'm a free man! I will begin my life anew… doing good deeds… helping little old ladies across the street and whatnot. I will help the poor and the homeless! I will volunteer at the local Sacred Heart Hospital! I will not feed the animals at the zoo! I will cut the roast beast at Christmas dinner!" And then he began to laugh, a loud, maniacal laugh.

"He's still evil!" one of the rooms many occupants called out. "Can't you hear that maniacal laughter?"

The judge smiled. "Are you mad? Those aren't laughs of maniacal intent. Those are laughs of joy."

And on that note, without even being decuffed, Gruumm hopped over the railing of the courtroom entrance and broke out the doors to the room. After about twenty seconds of pure shock the contents of the room followed after him. The S.P.D. rangers tried to follow in pursuit, but were held back by the amassing crowd before them.

Once outside Gruumm ran to the nearest automobile, a conveniently parked PT cruiser, owned by none other than Judge Akaza Banban. As the crowd from inside arrived outside, Gruumm smashed through the driver's side window with his fist.

"And now my adoring fans, I bid thee adieu!" Gruumm called out between bouts of maniacal laughter before entering the vehicle via Dukes of Hazzard style. He then peeled out of the parking lot, thankful for a belly full of gummi bears and a full tank of gas.

"Ah, now there goes a fine citizen indeed." The judge smiled genuinely as he watched Gruumm sideswipe an old lady in a Honda.


	2. Chapter 2

Destructive Order of Overlords Killing Innocent Earthlings a.k.a. D.O.O.K.I.E.

Chapter Two – Aliens Need Porn Too

By Ten'ou and Hiro

Disclaimer: We do not own Power Rangers. Disney has that privilege and honor. Though if Ten'ou had her way, she'd definitely be owning some Sky… and some Cam… and some Carter… and many others not listed. Hiro would own him some Mega Thunderzord to be stomping through the city.

"Gruumm… Where are we going?" Mora spoke in her best voice of innocence. Of course anyone who truly knew the demonic child knew her tone was faked. It suited her purposes well enough though, especially since Gruumm had busted her out of prison two days ago. "Where are we going?" Mora whined yet again, this time lengthening each word and going higher with each syllable.

"Shut up! I'm driving!" Gruumm shouted angrily at the child.

"But where?" Mora tried again. She stared out the window at the passing by scenery. From the looks of the road signs they were still in California, but surprisingly heading in a more southerly direction. "Wheeere?" Mora tried again.

"We. Are. Going. To. A Secret. Island. Fortress!" Gruumm said in his usual angry tone that made every word sound as if it were the first word in a sentence.

A few seconds of peaceable silence returned as Gruumm took his attention to steering the damaged PT Cruiser back onto the road he was veering off of. Of course, driving like a drunken moose didn't help matters much either.

"Wheeere?"

"Here!" Gruumm reared off the road, sharply pulling into a crummy shopping center plaza, complete with a Blockbuster, a K-Mart, a rather naughty clothing shop, and various run down fast food joints. With Gruumm's rather hectic driving skills, and his disregard for human life, people young and old were diving from in front of the 75 mph PT Cruiser. Gruumm never actually hit any… although he tried his hardest. Mora, however, sideswiped an innocent old lady when opening the passenger door while the automobile was still in drive.

Gruumm pulled into the parking lot of the battered Blockbuster, winding into a handicapped spot and taking the front wheels right over the blue parking bumper.

"Wait here. I'm going in." Gruumm haphazardly said to Mora before climbing out the vehicles non-existent driver's side window. Mora sat silently, for once, contemplating Gruumm's reasoning for pulling into a human entertainment store. Obviously his little leather shorts were on too tight, that is if he was even wearing his leather shorts underneath his stylish orange jumpsuit. Either way, Mora didn't really want to know.

Gruumm, standing before the double glass doors of Blockbuster, used the powers contained within his magic wand, staff-thingy to change his form, taking on the corporeal form of a man whose drivers license and credit card, of one Enari Sen'ichi, he'd stolen earlier that day. Although Gruumm was now considered a free man, alien-thingy, by all except S.P.D., he was still penniless as the day he was hatched.

Gruumm stretched a bit, rolling the shoulders of his new form as he strode through the left door of the pair and into the heaven of movie rentals. It was early enough in the day that nobody was around, and the mass Friday night crowd had not gotten off their couches yet to form a gathering of lazy movie madness.

Gruumm smirked, walking straight to the kiddie section. He knew exactly what he was searching for, scanning his eyes along the rows of children oriented DVD cases.

"M… N… O… P… P? What? No Power Rangers?!" he stormed aloud. "You there!" he called to a nearby employee.

"Yes sir? How can I help you?" the blue and yellow clad man asked.

Gruumm's eyes narrowed just a wee bit more. "I can't find what I'm looking for!"

"What are you looking for, sir?" the employee asked again.

Gruumm sighed, knowing he would never get anywhere with such an incompetent fool. "I am looking for a very special kind of DVD. A specific kind." He tried talking as one would speak to a child.

"Ohhhh! I know what you're looking for. Follow me." Gruumm was amazed that this man could supposedly read his mind. But if it would lead him to his DVD's, he wouldn't complain.

"Now, most Blockbusters aren't allowed to keep these kinds of selections. But this is my personal stash." The man opened a side door labeled 'Employees Only' on the eastern wall of the large building. "But I'll let you look anyway."

Gruumm entered the dimly lit space, pulling random yellow gummi bears out of his pocket and tossing them behind the shelves. Looking at the pictures and titles, he was abashed at this man's ESPer skills. They were totally off kilter.

"You dare to show me this… this… garbage?" Gruumm thundered. "What would I care about two men…" he read the box of one DVD. "named Tommy and Jason… making toast?"

"But… these are special…" the man rolled his eyes in confusion. "Isn't this what you wanted?"

"Hells no! I wanted Power Rangers DVDs. CLEAN Power Rangers DVDs." He continued to scan the dirty movies. "Pink Ranger, what are you doing in here?" Gruumm stashed that one in his oversized pocket while the other man was turned away.

"Oh… Power Rangers? Those are right over there." The man pointed to another door beyond the rows of DVDs.

Pushing the employee aside, Gruumm went for the door, opening it in one smooth glide. A yellow light poured out as if some divine presence was contained within. The joyous echoing of a million choir boys flooded the open area. Gruumm laughed, a deep bellow emitting from within. "Yes. I'll take them all!"

On second thought. "And get me some more gummi bears!"


End file.
